A friend of mine sent me an email the other day. It read: I arise in the morning, torn between a desire to improve the world, and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
He has obviously gotten to know me well.
I am always reflecting, quite possibly more than average, but I am not sure. Regardless, I just can’t stop. Sometimes I am happy to be this way. Sometimes I wish I could hit an OFF switch. I’ve gone through stages over the years, and I have oscillated. I am always trying to make sense of the world, even though I realize it is often beyond my comprehension. None the less, I have these deep down feelings of understanding. That is the best way I know how to explain it. A deep down feeling of understanding certain things that I can’t quite put words to.
When I read what my friend wrote me, at first I thought, “Exactly!” But then, I kept turning it over in my mind, and something wasn’t quite right. I wanted to resolve the dissonance. Because one can do both, enjoy and change, simultaneously.
Monday night I left my house and got in my car. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I needed to buy a backpack, so I had some direction. After I did that, I felt there was something else I had to do before going home. I pass a park everyday on my way home. This night, I stopped. I read on a picnic table until it got too dark to read, and then I walked over to the swings. I swung for almost a half hour. (It was badass).
At one point I started swinging as high as I could. I could not help but smile and laugh. I was the only one there, laughing to myself in a dark park, swinging on the swings. Sometimes I think I may be a bit crazy.
Anyway, it gets worse. Suddenly, songs kept coming to my head. But they were all childhood songs. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, On Top of Spaghetti, and Itsy Bitsy Spider. It was so weird (or possibly not since I am at a park swinging….hello…). Anyway, I start humming because I couldn’t help myself. I did this for a while, then slowed down to a stop and listened to the night in silence. I begun to spin my swing around and around, and let it unwind. Which is quite fun by the way.
In doing all of this, I thought of the email my friend sent me and realized, the changing and enjoying are certainly not mutually exclusive; quite the opposite. You cannot have one without the other. You will never change the world, if you do not know how to enjoy it, or take the time to enjoy it. Moreover, in truly enjoying the world, you ARE changing the world.
Every moment you enjoy positive energy is released into the atmosphere and it creates a force - A Beautiful Positive Power. I like to think of it as a stream flying out of you and into and through other people on its way into the sky (which clearly explains why the sky is so beautiful). The more you enjoy the world in a sincere and loving way, the more you change it. I felt good about this, and although I have thought this before, this time, I really believed it. I suddenly felt more motivated to be who I am in the best way I know how. I suddenly felt like it mattered and could make some kind of difference. For me this was a very good thing, because compared to so many people that change the world in a more obvious manner, I am always feeling inadequate.
Our thoughts are forming the world. Our actions are forming the world. We have more power in us than we know. If there is any truth to accept, it is this. So I decided and I resolved; I will wake everyday with the desire to enjoy the world, so that my power can be a part of the change I want to see.
