Sentimental Formation

Oh my, this day. I just couldn’t get with it today, so I decided to give up trying. Sometimes you just have to say Fuck this. Fuck It.  

On my drive home, during which I was planning to make tea and then sleep, I started crying because I felt a little sick and then I was hit with missing Jim and my Grandma so much that I almost couldn’t catch my breath. I felt like the wind was completely knocked out of me. The realization of how long they have been gone, and how much I still miss them took over me completely and I felt in shock and slightly paralyzed. And then….a breath in and a breath out, and it became sorrow I could manage.

Shit happens. Shit happens. Shit happens. Deal with it.

Betty said yesterday, have you heard of Friendship Ridge hunny? Have I?? Are you serious Betty? She was there she said. I wonder if I ever saw her and if she knew my Grandma. I didn’t ask, but I told her I heard of it...

Are all these memories from this life? Seems like too many and I am still so young. Hmmm….thank God we are endless.

“You have a Quest honey.”

I do?

“I believe that you do.”

Why are you gone?

Silence.

Theory. How about a theory?

Do you believe in past lives and soul mates? I am not sure if I do, but I was thinking that if I did, maybe it works like this; Perhaps just as cells divide, every so often our souls divide when we die. Thus, two identical souls inhabit two new and different bodies. The number of times you have lived, died, and divided will determine how many of your soul counterparts are out there roaming this planet.

Maybe our counterpart soul divisions are our Soul Mates. Maybe Eve was Adam’s first soul division. Maybe we have multiple soul mates roaming the Earth that we may or may not ever find, and they can be male and/or female. And maybe only good souls have the Power to divide. Only the Good Souls. Ya, I like that.

It is fun to speculate about random things in which most people do not believe. I believe in everything and I have Faith in everything. I have Faith in every day, minute, second, and thought. And I think everything is possible, and I think everything is amazing, and I think that I don’t even know the half of it, but I would like to someday.

Someday…..