In….Out…In….Out...In…Out.
Breathe. Breathe. Focus on your breathing. Feel it, Hear it, SEE it. O2 in, CO2 out.
I tried running, stretching & meditating, balancing, and even standing and listening to the sounds around me. But still, Peace did not come.
Then I thought, hot shower. Cleansing right?
When all that failed, I decided just to breathe. And still, Peace did not come.
So, I guess I have to resort to vodka next. Isn’t that why we started making it? Sometimes we need an anesthetic. Or a god damn antiseptic! Is there anything wrong with this? Sigh. Fuck if I know.
Hey!!! Zen!!! Where did you go?!? Did you wash away with the rain?
Oh, you’re still inside of me you say. Always with me you say. I do know this. It’s just that weight in my chest that is holding you down. Give me some time. I will be able to pick it up and get it off again.
“Pick it up it’s not too strong for you……”
See…I oscillate. We all do. Who doesn’t? It is OK. You can’t know Peace without any Turmoil. There are no rainbows without any rain. And there are no diamonds without any pressure.
Oh wait…I just felt something; a slight departure. I just realized, I should be embracing this. I should invite you in if you are standing at my door. Mr. Melancholy can be pleasant. He is also a teacher of mine. I apologize for trying to hold you out. You just want to run your course and show me what you know.
Let me start over…..Come on in. Why don’t you come on in and breathe with me? What is new for me to understand? Sorry for being so rude before.
Yes, I am officially nuts.
Does our inner rain actually wash anything away, or does it just create a short circuit? Eventually the circuit will open again and a disambiguation will follow. And with this, a deeper way of seeing will occur; I don’t want to miss it.
