Sometimes…….I don’t know where to begin.
Today I cleared a ton of trees, branches, leaves, and debris from behind my garage. I loaded a whole trailer and 8 construction bags. My brother is going to be pumped I got this done without him. It’s going to be a surprise. He works enough and doesn’t need my shit to do. Since I was working solo I decided to listen to music. I was struggling and sweating quite a bit. Felt good. Took a couple hours to get 75% of what I wanted done. I realized some of it, I will need help with. Damn being a small chic sometimes.
Anyway, when I finished, I stopped and lay on my back on my deck. I stared at the sky as daylight started its Fade. Then, it started to sprinkle. It felt like heaven to lay there and stare at the sky, with small drops falling on me, and a warm breeze blowing. I watched all the trees and the clouds move to the music. “I’ve seen you come, oh I’ve watched you go…….”
Sigh. I want to see Good and Real stick around...not go.
I started spinning up to the top of the trees, where the leaves were beginning to turn from green to red. Fall is coming, and the leaves will surely go soon. But right now they were dancing for me, to the music. I spun like that for a while, and then I sat up and turned off my iPod. I wanted to hear the tree music. The sound of the leaves blowing was as soothing as ocean waves. So I sat for a while longer; relaxing and thinking of the evening that would unfold.
Yesterday I said: I create all kinds of distractions. But today I thought: distractions serve no purpose. I feel purpose in almost everything I do. I guess that is why I do it. I feel some form of release or fulfillment, and nothing feels hollow or empty. I thanked God for this. And Buddha, and Yaweh, and the Universe…….aahhh……you’re all so wonderful.
Do I have a capacity or am I a bottomless well?
Sometimes, I don’t know where to End…….
