People say; nothing stays perfect forever. Metals tarnish, clothes wear, looks fade, and friends go separate ways. Some cannot deal with these inevitable occurrences, but it is simply change, not loss, and perfection is a perception. Unfortunately we have idealized perfection to the point that its own unique phases are missed, and the true meaning of the word has been eroded. I will decide how to see my world, and to me, it is almost always perfect, even when it is sad, confusing, or chaotic.
Life can be emotionally and mentally exhausting, but it is usually me creating this state. Often times, we think we know what we want, but aren’t happy once we have it. We are always looking for something outside of ourselves, instead of within. I keep trying to look within as much as possible. I get frustrated with myself for always focusing on my own life and needs, as if others around me don’t have their own worries. When I see the dynamics of all our lives in my minds eye, like molecules of an organic reaction, I see how amazing it all really is. Despite the changes, fluctuations, unexpected or undesired outcomes, in the end, the whole process is fantastic. And the outcome is only undesired if you choose to see it that way. Reality is a real mind fuck.
Today I felt like I did everything as if I was outside of my body. It was an interesting experience. It may have had a little to do with the fact that I skipped lunch. But anyway, I felt a bit like I was hovering just outside myself, and I was watching myself move through everything. I thought, hmmm…..I am an interesting little sucker. I kept looking at everyone else too and thought, jeez, we are all so interesting. I stop sometimes and close my eyes and pretend that I stop it all. I don’t want it to stop permanently, but just for a moment. So I can enjoy the perfection of that moment, before the next one comes. But it moves so fast. And Time too, just like reality, another mind fuck. WE created it. What if we add an extra month or two to the calendar year??……I would be years younger! Would this change the decisions I make in life. Should I make decisions based on age or time, which is an arbitrary invention and fascination? Truly, your guess is as good as mine.
The world we choose to see and the person we choose to become is something we cultivate everyday, until it is hard to see the view that others may have. I try to remind myself how important it is to think of all the views and possible ways of seeing a situation. This is not easy and can cause your mind to feel slightly explosive. But when you keep the fire alarms from sounding, and do not fight the overwhelming feeling, that’s when you feel reality’s elasticity and understand perception’s blind spots.
We all have to decide how we will choose to view the world. In this sense, life is about creating yourself, creating your world. At the same time, we all have to decide what kind of person we want to become within that world. We have pluripotent souls, and we have to choose which one we want to stimulate. In this way, life is about finding your self, a self, from within.
I once thought it important to be with someone who sees the world the same as me. Now I realize it is important to be with someone who knows we all view it different, and there is nothing imperfect or problematic about that. Quite the opposite; it is a potential and a perfection that can facilitate and stimulate our own growth. We would be so lucky to walk a day in someone else’s shoes……
